Colin Marshall states:
We’ve just heard the Word read and proclaimed, sung the praises of our great God, and petitioned him for mercy in our time of need. And then we spend our time afterward talking about last night’s movie, the game, the hobby, the state of the nation, or whatever. Anything but the great truths of the gospel we’ve just heard and by which we’re saved. Why do we do this?
It is far too easy to hear the closing “Amen” and immediately shift on to the next thing that’s happening in your day. “Where are we going to eat? I’m starving!” Or, one spouse to the other: “We better not stay and talk, I’ve got a lot to do.” Sometimes we just rush over to the same friends every week and pick up where we left off. After service you can hear a lot of,
“How have you been?”
“Busy.”
“Working a lot?”
“Yea.”
“Me too.”
But we have just heard the glorious gospel proclaimed! Surely there are better things to talk about. I’m not suggesting that we familiarize ourselves with the latest Christian lingo so we have spiritually-sounding conversations. And our conversations shouldn’t be contrived or forced. But like all healthy relationships, good conversations require thought and care. Small talk is good and important; it’s a way to show hospitality to others. It can be a great starting point. But if all we ever have is small talk, then our Christianity probably needs to run a little deeper than that.
Marshall offers a number of helpful suggestions:
- Pray during the service that God would lead your conversations, and pray for specific people around you.
- Listen to what God is saying to you through the sermon (or songs, creeds, and so on) and formulate a comment or question to start a conversation. This past week at our church, the sermon was on what it means to praise the Lord, from Psalms 146-150. Since I was thinking about this article (and, I hope, for more godly reasons), I picked out two things to try as conversation-starters after church.
- With another couple we somehow got into a conversation about their blended family, and I reminded them of God’s favor towards the alien, orphans, and widows (Ps. 146). Since the husband is not yet a believer, I was deliberately talking about God’s character. I have no idea what effect it had on him.
- Even if the conversations don’t always get off the ground, your enthusiasm for learning the Bible and knowing God will be contagious. And non-Christians will see that church isn’t dull and boring but fascinating and life-shattering.
- These intentional conversations after church will sometimes lead to prayer for one another. Why not stop for a moment and give thanks or petition God for some need?
- Another way to deepen our fellowship is to ask each other how we came to salvation in Christ. Sometimes we’ve been in church with people for years without ever learning their story. The other day at church I asked a guy named Phil how he became a Christian, and we discovered God had worked in us in very similar ways as young men. The door is now open to building a friendship with this brother. What a joy!
So, no condemnation for small talk or casual, friendly conversations! Those are both wonderful gifts from God and are ways we can show care to other people. But pray and ask God how your interactions with others after church can convey even greater love, care, compassion, and enthusiasm for the greatest news in all the world.
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